Reflections on the Best Year of My Life: It’s All Downhill from Here

I spent nine months in a foreign country.  Sure, it was Israel, a place I consider my homeland, a place I had previously visited, a place as technologically advanced as the US.  Still, it was foreign.  Buildings are designed differently, the landscape and the weather are different, and it seems like most places are tourist sites.  The culture is different far beyond the Judaism in the air; everyone dresses more casually, speaks more frankly, and tea-breaks more frequently.

Israel is unique in so many ways.  I could go into politics, religion, or other big topics, but after this year I need a small break from thinking about them.  However, I will tell you these.  I know of no country that places more value on knowing the land, where all public schools go on hikes and have nature classes.  I have never seen better looking or eaten better tasting fruits and vegetables (except for the clementines we had in Poland, but I think they were brought from Israel) than the produce I saw and ate in this tiny, mostly desert land.  Putting aside my subjectivity and ignorance of other countries, Israelis are at the top of every just about every field in science and technology. 

This is a country with mandatory army service for the majority of citizens, and this has become a huge part of Israel.  Intercity buses are full of soldiers travelling between their army bases and their homes.  It is not surprising to see people walking down streets with machine guns.  It seems every Israeli knows someone who died while serving in the army.  At the Masa cultural event in February, I listened to the musician Ivri Lider tell his life story. Both people sitting next to me whispered in my ear something along the lines of, “He didn’t talk about being in the army.”  It turns out that Ivri Lider had a very short army service due mostly to a brief period of peace when Ivri was 18 years old, so it did not greatly impact him.  I didn’t think much of it at the time, but the absence of an army story is very strange among Israelis.  And soon, this is how it will be for at least five of my Nativ friends...

So there I was nine months ago, thrust into this land with 90 other stupid Americans.  I toured the tourist sites of Jerusalem, studied at the Conservative Yeshiva, learned my way around Jerusalem, and traveled around the country.  Then second semester I got down to business volunteering with breaks for leadership training and modern-Israel education.

But my year on Nativ was so much more than this.  I now understand Israel nearly as well as I understand the US.  I know my way around central Jerusalem better than the small town where I’ve lived for over 16 years.  I came to understand and embrace the culture.  Beyond Nativ, I loved seeing and walking/running/hiking/climbing through the beautiful land and how everyone there understands what it means for me to be an observant Jew.

I have changed a lot this year.  I have grown up and become more independent.  I take more initiative.  I am calmer and don't let little things bother me.  I watch less TV.  I open up more to friends.  I’m happier, a better napper, emotionally and physically healthier.  I’m able to stop talking about gross things when asked.  I have a greater understanding of Judaism, how I want to live as a Jew, and how much more I need to study.  I have a greater understanding of friendship and responsibility.

I can only hope to be as happy as I was this past year at another time in my life. I love how I had the opportunity to live a fake life in which I had all of the freedoms and opportunities I could want and everything was taken care of for me. I feel privileged to have experienced the realization a few weeks into Nativ, ‘this is the first time I feel neutral, not happy.’

I am closer with my friends from Nativ than anyone else.   I had never felt so completely in my element socially and ‘programally.’ After this year, I will have school and work and schoolwork and countless other stresses, but I will have the friends I made this year to help me through it all. 

Nothing in my life will be the same from now on.  My house in Illinois is no longer my home.  I realized during my flight back to the US when I saw on my little TV screen the plane image flying over Boston that my college dorm will be my home for a few years.  But right now I am homeless with a house in a neighborhood that I am just very familiar with.

This was the best year of my life.

The Last Week

On Sunday afternoon (May 20), we had a party with our bosses at Benny’s (the manager) house, at which Nativers and bosses thanked each other for the work and experiences of our time at Kfar HaNoar HaDati.  Then we loaded 1 piece of luggage and whatever we wanted to leave in Israel for next year’s Nativ onto a truck, to not see the luggage again until the airport on May 28.  Monday breakfast was our last meal. After eating, Jake, Arielle, and I went to the petting zoo to say goodbye to Akiva (who was not at the party the previous day).  I’m going to miss him, but hopefully we’ll keep in touch, especially with my 3 friends who are going to live on the kibbutz where he lives for their service in the Israeli army.  Around 9:30 we loaded a bus with everything we had left at the kfar and left for Jerusalem to spend our last week of Nativ.

We arrived in Jerusalem around 12, soon followed by Karmiel and Yerucham tracks.  We left our luggage in what was the computer room because our rooms weren’t ready yet.  But a little later this afternoon I moved back into 633 with Leah and Suzanne.  The bathroom was redone and a TV replaced the shelf above my bed, but that didn’t matter because the 3 of us were together again.

We spent a couple hours in one room listening to different presentations from outside groups for post-Nativ options (Masorti adult programs, Tel Aviv University international school, David Project, Nefesh B’Nefesh) and we had the opportunity to join the bone marrow registry. 

That Monday night we had a talent show.  I must say, it went far better than I expected.  I had a performance (but how could they put me 2^nd, just after the a capela singing of “Somebody that I Used to Know”?!).  Well, somehow, I entertained the Nativ community by broom balancing (because they did it in “Wet Hot American Summer”), making pterodactyl noises, doing animal impressions on demand, quickly reciting the English alphabet backwards, , converting oxygen into carbon dioxide (with the materials already in the room!), and flailing.  (I think I brainwashed people into thinking I'm funny.)  Other people’s acts included a few singing and instrument-playing performances, a dramatic poem reading by Ira, a rap by Eric with Rozzie and Rachel, and Jake acting like Dobby the House Elf.  The first day back in Jerusalem was a lot of fun.

On Tuesday morning, we did activities by track.  The kfar track re-lived our first day’s ice breakers for Dan, who came a week late because of International USY Board obligations.  Then we had a scavenger hunt (in our teams from our first Erev Nativ of playing Human Angry Birds) around Jerusalem to take pictures of important places and things that remind us of significant pieces of the year (favorite pizza place, where we held our first Kab Shab services, bus 72 [the bus between the kfar and Haifa], cows, first semester tracks, Tzfat hippiness, and much more].

In the afternoon we had two activities.  For the first different items such as “tikkun olam,” “observing holidays,” “observing the halachot of Shabbat,” “keeping the spirit of Shabbat,” “Israel,” and “interfaith relations” were posted around the room.  Ira and Rachel would ask questions like “Which is most important to me?”, “What am I not doing now that I would like to do?”, “Which is least important to me?”, “With which do I struggle the most?”, and “What do I want to learn more about?”, and we would go to the sign that answered the question for ourselves.  I was absolutely fascinated to see my friends’ responses: I was one of only two show valuing tikkun olam most, and the plurality chose interfaith relations as least important.  In the second program we discussed (and some people acted out) issues we expect to confront upon returning to our parents’ homes.  Though it may be hard sometimes, I realized I’m going to need to stop myself from talking too much about Nativ to friends.

Then that night we went to our final Masa event.  We listened to Natan Sharansky and Benjamin Netanyahu speak, sat through some horrible performances, and eventually saw a fantastic performance by Mayumana, a stomp group.

The only program on Wednesday was called “Summing Up the Year.”  We didn’t really know what this meant, but we were spread out in small groups starting between 9:30 to 12:30.  I was in the last shift, so I spent the morning with Arielle, helping her shop for gifts for family and friends on Ben Yehuda.  After lunch, we went to the program.  In -3, we were given journals, and as we moved down the hall, we travelled from the flight to our 2^nd semester locations with stops for our rooms, chagim (holidays), tiyulim, 1^st semester tracks, optional evening activities, Israel Experience Week/Poland, Israel Today Seminar, Conservative Judaism seminars, Jerusalem life, and more.  The journals had questions that proved our staff knows us well.  They also set up the different sections of the hall will great detail (the correct masechet Talmud open for the Conservative Yeshiva, 3 beds extremely close to each other and the chocolate spread from the moadon for the kfar, etc.).  It was weird to relive the year this way.  With having journaled and blogged this year, I didn’t feel too much pressure to write long memories, but I think I might write more as things remind me of Nativ this summer and any other time.

We made this night a kfar girls’ night out to Sushi Rehavia (a favorite restaurant where I had not previously dined but now know is indeed delicious).  A few of us couldn’t make it, but I think we had 13 people with Rachel, and it was a lot of fun.

Thursday morning we had a program with Yossi in which we sat in a circle and in a few words finished a statement made by Yossi. These ranged from “My favorite Israeli food is…” to “My favorite movie is…” to “The first thing I’m doing when I return to North America is…” to “I am Jewish because…”  It was thought provoking and interesting to hear others’ responses.

Then we filled out evaluations for just about everything possible for the year.  Also, it was on this day that we received Nativ 31 shirts designed by a few people in our group, Kfar shirts designed by a few people in our track (Yerucham and Karmiel got shirts, too), and any other shirts we designed and ordered (I just got one other for my Yam l’Yam group).

From Thursday afternoon to Shabbat candle lighting, we were free.  I spent most of Thursday hanging out with Dana and Chaviva, and that night I went to Waffle Bar with a large group.  On Friday I went for a run to my favorite park in Jerusalem to have a little time alone with my thoughts.  I moseyed around my hall and napped until it was time to get ready for Shabbat.

Before candle lighting, we took pictures in between the buildings like we did the first Shabbat, except this time we were much better friends.  Tfillot were great and we had a fantastic tisch, but I couldn’t get into them.  I don’t know if it was from fatigue or subconscious refusal to have emotion about anything being the last time.  Then I played Monopoly with Maddy, Mia, and Becca until around 1 am when we decided we should get some sleep.  For what it’s worth, I think I would have won the game.

Saturday morning I was extremely tired.  It was difficult for me to stay awake during tfillot, but luckily I slept a few hours in the afternoon.  Then I hung out until Chag HaShavuot dinnertime!  Shavuot (or how I call it despite my friends’ mocking, Shavuos), is exactly 7 weeks after the second night of Passover and is traditionally understood as the anniversary of the Israelites receiving the Torah.  Dairy is eaten because if the Torah was received this day, it was this day that the Israelites learned that they had not been preparing meat kosherly so they ate dairy to avoid making this mistake.  The other Shavuos tradition is to stay awake all night studying.  Nativers went all over Jerusalem for different classes, and I sat in at 1 ½ incredible classes at Pardes.  Then we rejoined at 2 am for Nativer-led classes (I led one on "What is Judaism without Torah m'Sinai?", questioning revelation and the implications on Judaism).  In between the classes we drank coffee (a necessity) and ate ice cream and cheesecake (almost as necessary as caffeine).  Then at 4:30 we headed for the Kotel, to Robinson’s Arch (the Southern Wall) where egalitarian tfillot are permitted.  We as Nativ davened the morning services with the Conservative Yeshiva, Shnat NOAM (great to see them again!), TRY, and other Masortim who came.  After services, we returned to base and slept until lunch.  I am happy that I was able to visit my host family from Rosh Hashana with Mia and Julia one last time for this meal.

Sunday night near the end of chag Yossi gave us another big talk.  He talked about what we should have gotten out of this year, how we all changed this year, intermarriage, Jewish life, Conservative Judaism, aliyah, and making this year matter for the rest of our lives. Then he told us to go to dinner as if he had simply told us some scheduling details for a tiyul.

After chag I went with friends to Ben Yehuda to get ice cream and frozen yogurt.  When I came back, I hung out with Mia, Maya, and Natanya before going to sleep.  It was just like almost any night first semester.

This brings us to Monday.  I woke up early, and now regret not running.  Mid-morning the kfar track (the other tracks went separately later) went to a restaurant for our end of the year banquet.  We ate delicious food, but what Maya, Moshe, and Dan planned was more important.  They made each of us a plate saying, “We leave you with [insert something related to a memory or an inside joke].”  Two people from our track gave speeches thanking Rachel and Ira, Rachel and Ira spoke to thank us, and Yossi and Maya spoke to thank us and our madrichim.  After the meal we returned to Beit Nativ.  We had a short program and watched a slideshow of our year, both of which were intended to make us cry.  Ira and Rachel also gave us the book A Voice Called: Stories of Jewish Heroism by Yossi Katz (a distant relative who my dad also went to high school with).

In the afternoon, I finished packing, accompanied some friends to the shuk for the last time and bought my last ice cafe with my last 10 shekels.  Then we had a dessert reception, followed by speeches and a presentation of a slide for each person on Nativ.  We received our yearbooks and track pictures, and then we loaded the trucks and boarded the buses for the last time.  We said goodbye to Lainey, who’s coming back to the US in a couple weeks.  At the airport, I first said goodbye to the people on the flight going to Philadelphia, then to madrichim who couldn’t pass security, then to the people on the JFK flight.  Then I was left with the 6 others going to Chicago through Newark.  It was sad.  I already miss my friends.  I can’t even imagine how much worse this would be, though, if I didn’t know that I was going to be able to see at least a few friends this summer, others in the Boston area when we’re in college, and most people going to schools between Philly and Boston. It’s weird.

Trivia: It was about 26 hours from the time I left Beit Nativ until I arrived at my house.

Far from the Kfar

Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night: packed.

Today (Sunday): loaded truck with what we’re leaving for Nativ 32 and the bags we won’t see again until we leave for the airport.  Small party with our bosses in which we all thanked each other for the experiences, work, impact of the past 3 months.

Tomorrow: bus takes us to Jerusalem.

I am not ready to leave the kfar.  From being here, I have learned that I am happy living in a small, quiet, isolated village.  I have developed a stronger work ethic.  I have become a better Hebrew speaker.  Every day, when walking out of my room, I have been amazed at the beauty of my surroundings.

I am going to miss caring for the animals, watching the sun set over Chaifa, seeing the E. Ron tour buses drop off and pick up the commuting students, seeing the rays of sun come through the trees by the playground, saying hi to the workers as I walk down the hill not just to be friendly but because I truly know them, and running past the bus stop with the graffiti, “Kfar Chasidim habayit sheli.”  Kfar Chasidim is my home.

I know we made a difference here.  We cleaned, beautified, and assisted in just about every way.  It’s amazing how appreciated and loved we feel by people who have been here much longer than us.

Today is Yom Yerushalayim, and I would have liked to be in Jerusalem today to experience it.  I will be there tomorrow, but I don’t know if the joy of Jerusalem will outweigh the desolation of departing the place I will continue to call my home for 18 more hours.

I hope to come back soon.

Trivia: When was the kfar founded? Kfar Chasidim was founded in 1924, but kfar hanoar wasn’t founded until 1937.

Work Week and Terrific Tiyul

The atmosphere at the kfar during the week of May 6 was pure excitement (and preparation-induced stress) for the 75^th anniversary party of Kfar HaNoar HaDati, which took place that Thursday, Lag B’Omer.  Most Nativers at the kfar were working away from their usual jobs to help get ready for the party.  I wiped the grease off of poles and helped put decorations on lamp posts.  I knew I was helping, but I really wanted to be at the petting zoo during this time.  Luckily, Arielle and I spent Thursday morning, before the party, there.  I’ll talk more about the party soon.

Despite the need for the labor of 30 able-bodied youths, Tuesday was Yom Nativ.  Well, no.  It was Laila Nativ, Nativ Night.  After afternoon and evening naps (I’m very impressed with the 3 hours of sleep I got), at 12 we boarded a bus to take us to a beach for a night hike.  We hiked in the sand, and hand programming and discussions about natural resources in Israel.  We saw a monument for all of the different waves of immigrations.  After davening, eating breakfast, and returning to the kfar, we slept the day away.

On Wednesday and Thursday morning, we were back to volunteering.  (We also had a bonfire and outdoor shaving party [for guys’ beards and heads] Wednesday night for Lag B’Omer.)  Kfar alumni from the past 75 years came that afternoon. Nativers who didn’t volunteer in the morning volunteered at stations throughout the kfar, but the rest of us simply wore our new kfar shirts (ones that all of the students here get) and were on call if help was needed.  It was really cool seeing this giant reunion, but many of us felt like outsiders having only been here for 3 months.  I let kids into the animal cages for, probably, the last time this afternoon. 

Hanging Out in Our New Kfar Shirts

At night there was a ceremony.  There was a tribute to the alumni fallen soldiers, and it was weird when after certain faces were shown groups near us would react, having known this person who is just a name to us.  There was a video of a woman from the school’s first graduating class talking about the kfar.  At the end of the ceremony, current students break-danced and fireworks were set off.  Overall, this was an exciting but exhausting day.

On Friday, I went to Karmiel, meeting about half of Nativ for the birthday celebration of Rozzie, Dani, and Teri.  It was great to hang out with everyone there.  We davened on the roof.  I ate dinner with Julia, Becca, Hannah, Eli, Sarah, and Leah, and then we joined about 20 others for a tisch.  Afterwards we hung out and more and played Anagrams (played with a Bananagrams set).

Of course, I woke up early in the morning.  I spent a lot of time walking up and down the outside stairs of the building where there was a pleasant breeze and a great view of the nearby mountains. Everyone ate lunch together on the roof.  Then many of us went to the park across the street to read, play games, and hang out.  It was a fun Shabbat, but afterwards I went back to the kfar to pack for the week of our Northern Tiyul.

Sunday through Thursday was our last tiyul, but it was a fantastic week.  On Sunday we visited a Druze village, learned about the religion (main aspects are monotheism and value of peace, but much of the religion is a secret to non-Druze people).  They fed us lunch, and I was pleasantly surprised at the vegetarian protein content.  Then we went on a beautiful short hike, that happened to have a few broken cars in the path.  We spent the night at a hotel in Akko that was designed like an ancient building that once stood there.  It was very open and had an amphitheatre in the middle.

Cars?

On Monday, we started the day at a winery.  Yes, Nativ took us to drink wine.  The legal drinking age in Israel is 18, but it is against Nativ policy for staff to drink with participants.  I felt sick this day, so I didn’t try any wine and did the easy hike option.  It was a piece of Har Meron, the second highest mountain in Israel, that I did during Yam l’Yam.  The hike wasn’t so special, but we had plenty of time to hang out before and after the hike, which was nice.  After this, we went to Degania.  Degania was the first kibbutz ever, but has more recently been extended to Degania B which has things like a chocolate factory.  The chocolate fumes were too strong for me this day, but everyone else made chocolate houses.  We also watched a poorly translated video about chocolate production.  Mmmmm…chocolate.

On Tuesday, after morning hikes (I hiked Nachal Chazuri, part of which was on the Lebanon border), we met for lunch, followed by rafting.  I shared a raft with Mia, Julia, Chaviva, Dana, and Becca down the Jordan River.  This event included jumping out of our raft, paddle battles, being taken as a hostage, meeting Canadians on a birthright trip, rescuing lost shoes, trying to be a motor for our raft, and other shenanigans.  Hiking and rafting is exhausting, but we were given a couple hours to be in Tiberius that night.  They called it a free night, except we had to be there when many of us would have preferred to just sleep.  Still, it was fun.

The hike Wednesday was probably the most exciting thing I have ever done and at the most beautiful place I have ever been.  We hiked down into a canyon, through the canyon, jumped 15 feet or so into the water, swam across to where we self-rappelled down an 80 foot rock wall (my first time rappelling- it was hard!), hiked some more, rappelled down a 50 foot waterfall (easier this time), hiked up out of the canyon, and hiked the distance back to our bus.  Everything we had got soaking wet, included many people’s not perfectly wrapped sandwiches.  Everything in the canyon was green, brown, and pink, and at the end it looked like Lion King on one side and a different view of the canyon on the other.  This day included about 4 hours of hiking and 5 hours of waiting for others to rappel.  We all got bruised and scraped, but had no major injuries.  It was incredible.

Just Your Average Rappelling

We woke up relatively late Thursday morning (davening at 7:45 instead of 7, 6:30, or 6) because all we had to do was here sad announcements about the scheduling for our last week and half, pack up, and go to one place- the Sachne Pools.  These are natural, fresh water pools.  The water is the same temperature all year long, and it was the perfect temperature for this hot day.  We swam in the clear water for a few hours.  We stood under the waterfall, let fish eat our feet, jumped off of the short cliffs where we weren’t supposed to, and enjoyed the serenity of the pools.  Yossi was having such a good time that he gave us more time there.

Early afternoon we loaded our buses back to the places that will be our homes until Monday morning.  This bus ride was just like our first from the airport to Beit Nativ in August- there were 30 of us plus Ira and Rachel, we were tired, and Rachel was asking who wanted to read Torah and lead tfillot.

Back in our room, Maya, Lucy, Deena and I unpacked our tiyul bags and started packing up to return to the US.

Trivia: What is the best way to deal with having to return to the States?  Denial.

“You can’t just bring an owl into the cheder ochel, Harari!” and the Smell that Made Everyone Yell

Chol (regular, non-holy days)

Was Monday a normal day at the petting zoo?  We frequently are given strange tasks (cut off leaf-catching wires around duck pond, put boxes up for doves to lay eggs, etc.), so we don’t think it’s weird when we stray from the everyday feeding, cleaning, and landscaping.  On Monday I learned that, depending on what we do, not everyone agrees. 

The goats have been taken away by the person to whom they belong, but 6 or 7 will be brought back to belong to Kfar HaNoar HaDati, so we were assigned the task of cleaning their pen.  We worked for about 3 hours pitchforking and shoveling poop and pee-soaked hay.  It smelled, and sometimes when we uncovered a new wet spot we had to go to the other side of the pen and let it air out a bit.  It smelled a lot, but we didn’t think this was an issue because once we left the goat pen we couldn’t smell it anymore.

pic from Wednesday, but you get the idea

WE couldn’t smell it anymore.  At lunch, some people (*cough cough everyone cough*) made comments about our odor.  Sadly, it inhibited some people’s ability to eat.  But not mine, Arielle’s, or Jake’s!

After lunch, I went to my room, excited to shower.  Deena and Maya were already there getting ready to shower themselves.  Maya offered me first shower, after she yelled at me to put all of my clothes outside.  Arielle, from the room on the other side of our bathroom, came in…

Maya: Jill smells so bad!

Me: Arielle should smell the same as me.

Arielle: I can’t smell it anymore.

Maya: [smells Arielle] Oh no!! Get out!

Arielle: We smell!! Haha

And then Arielle and I high fived, proud of the work we did this day and our inability to smell the consequence ourselves.

Tuesday was Yom Tzahal (=IDF=Israel Defense Forces).  This topic was not of greatest interest to me, so this is basically what the day was.  We listened to someone talk about the air force, we compared army advertising in different countries, we learned what beret color means, and we played capture the flag (no winner, we were too evenly matched).

Tuesday ended, Wednesday began.  While eating breakfast, Harari came into the cheder ochel holding the bottom half of a cereal box (fun fact, the word for cereal in Hebrew is “cornflakes”).  He walked over to where we were sitting, and told us to look in the box.  At first I didn’t know what it was- it was gray and fuzzy.  Another mole?  No, he grabbed it and held it in his hand, so he wasn’t worried about being bitten and getting a disease.  Then I saw the eyes.  The eyes of a baby owl.

We spent some time taking pictures; the owl flew onto Steph, and Louis (who volunteers in the kitchen) yelled the quoted part of this post’s title.  Then we took him to the petting zoo and put him in a cage, gave him water, and cut up a piece of raw chicken into tiny pieces.

If I remember correctly, Jake said Harari said his friend saw the baby owl, so he decided to take it and give it to Harari.  Of course, crazy Harari accepted the owl.  The baby ate the chicken off of a twig on which we held the meat out for him.  Later, Akiva came and saw him.  According to Akiva, it is illegal to take animals from the wild, but he seemed to like the owl too much to not keep him.  It was decided to keep him a few days, and then let him go. 

We continued our normal work, plus finished the goat pen.  Even though we worked fewer hours on Wednesday than Monday, we smelled worse.  Even I could smell it at lunch.  I am very thankful for showers.

When we got to work Thursday morning, we saw that the owl escaped from his cage (which we expected to happen because the top wasn’t actually attached to the sides).  Oh, well.   

Chol (sand)

By Thursday afternoon, the vast majority of our group had left.  By dinnertime, 7 of our 30 were still on the kfar.  After much debate over what to do this Shabbat, I decided to join 9 other kfarmers to camp out on a beach in Chaifa.  It was stressful getting food, packing for myself (I didn’t have a sleeping bag, so I brought blankets which take up too much room), and getting things others had forgotten (most people were coming from a program that helps prepare you to work with Israeli staff at Jewish camps).  Then Barry and I left at lunch time, bussed to Chaifa, bussed to another bus station in Chaifa, and walked down the beach until we found our group, tents already pitched (partly because a group of 4 had camped their Thursday night).  From here on out, the weekend was phenomenal.

Never before this year would I consider going camping on a beach (granted, it’s not necessarily legal and safe at your average American beach [not that it’s legal and safe at all Israeli beaches either, but this one is).  Never before did I have a group of friends who wanted to do this.  I was so relaxed here.  It was great.

Our group was me, Lucy, Jake, Aryeh, Blue, Barry, Deena, Moshe, Dan, Julia, and Chaviva (from Karmiel, who decided last minute to stay with us).  We got there at different times, and didn’t do much Friday afternoon.  Some people swam, but I just hung out and read.  Later in the afternoon, we started getting ready for Shabbat.  A few guys had collected wood earlier.  We dug a fire pit, and Blue set everything up for what he hoped would be a wide, long lasting fire (you cannot add wood to a flame on Shabbat).  Some people cooked cans of tuna (the Israeli way of putting toilet paper on it and lighting it on fire).  Then Blue started the campfire, and we girls went over to our smaller “fire pit” to light candles.  Well, the wind was too strong and our candles wouldn’t stay lit.  It also made our campfire wild, huge, and hot.  Unfortunately, it would not be able to last the night as we had hoped.

What's going on with this fire?!

The sun setting over the Mediterranean was absolutely beautiful.  I think this was the best possible setting for Kab Shab.  Our fire provided ample light for maariv. These services were so nice.  I love having small-group Nativ tfillot.  After davening, we ate dinner around the remains of our fire.  We went around saying our highs and lows of the week.  Many people’s low was how one Nativer in the Yerucham track left because his dad is very sick; we all miss him and wish his family the best.  But on the other hand, most people’s high was that moment, being together on the beautiful Chaifa beach.  We sat talking and singing for a long time after we finished eating.  We sang a lot of our usual tisch songs, some modern Israeli songs, a couple English songs too.  Eventually (around 11:30 or 12, I think) we went to sleep.  For the first time in all of my outdoor sleeping on Nativ, I slept in a tent, but most of our group slept outside.  My one complaint is the waves were too loud.

a picture can't capture the beauty

We woke up with the sun and spent the morning hanging out.  I played Frisbee, read, talked, played board games, and swam a lot (I hadn’t swam in a long time, it felt so good!).  Then we ate lunch, and did more of the above activities.  Most of us put on enough sunscreen, but a few people got badly burnt, and this was the one non-perfect piece of our weekend.

We watched the sun set over the sea one more time.  It’s ridiculous how easy it is to miss it.  Then we watched the sky until we saw 3 stars and did Havdallah (ok, also not perfect that the spices I picked in the kfar greenhouse got thrown out, but Dan had mint gum that we found acceptable given the circumstance).  Every party has its pooper, but not this one.

Today I am back on the kfar.  Thursday is the last of volunteering for the other two tracks, but for us it’s Wednesday because on Thursday there is a huge 75^th anniversary party for the kfar.  Many of us were upset today because we were taken from our usual jobs and we want to have our last few volunteer days there, but we did some necessary work for the celebration.  (I wiped the grease off of poles for signs.)  I’m excited to be on the kfar for this big day, even if it means a couple fewer days at the petting zoo.

Trivia: The most popular cookie in Israel is probably the wafer cookie.  I’m just guessing, though.

NOAM Shabbaton

Nativ is the Conservative Movement’s gap year program.  The Conservative Movement, by this name, exists solely in North America.  What about the rest of the world?  I learned the answer to this question last weekend at a NOAM Shabbaton.

NOAM stands for Noar Masorti, or Masorti Youth.  Masorti is the name of the Conservative Movement outside of North America.  I learned about Masorti in Israel during the Israel Today Seminar, and I guess I understood that there was something like it in other countries, but I had never really thought about it before this weekend.

The bus came to pick us up Friday morning and took us (8 from Kfar, 6 from Karmiel, 1 from Yerucham, and 12 from Jerusalem but originally from Argentina, Brazil, and Chile [all but one spoke English very well]) to a water park in Tiberius.  Here, we N Ams barely talked with the S Ams.  We played some bad ice breakers, ate, and talked.  Some of us went down the water slides and swam, too.  A little before leaving, I started talking with a few of the NOAM people, and Dana, Becca, and I decided we should split up our amazing room to be with them. 

We went to a hotel on the Kineret a little south of Tiberius.  I ended up rooming with Clarice and Daniela from Brazil and Becca.  After settling into our room and preparing for Shabbat (side note: the NOAM Shabbat dress code is much more casual than that of Nativ), we met with everyone again.  Representatives from each country gave a presentation on their youth movements (NOAM, NOAM, NOAM, and USY; it’s also NOAM in the UK, France, Australia, and other countries).  It’s interesting that USY is just for high school and the pre-high school programs are not as popular, and NOAM usually starts around 2^nd grade (age 3 in Chile!).  They use a lot of Hebrew terms in NOAM, my favorite of which is tznif (chapter).  (It’s my favorite especially when paired with “shnat,” as in Shnat NOAM [NOAM year, the gap year program name].  Get it?  Tznif and shnat.  Sniff and snot!  Heehee.)  In 10^th grade, NOAM participants become madrichim (counselors, guides) for the younger kids, and they can do this into their 20s.  The purpose of Shnat NOAM is for participants to come back to their countries and be better NOAM madrichim.  I also found it interesting that democracy is a strong value in NOAM because it is completely taken for granted in USY. 

Then it was Shabbat.  We lit candles and rejoined for services.  2 NOAMers from Argentina led Kab Shab, and 2 NOAMers from Chile led maariv.  Both pairs used tunes new to me, some of which I absolutely loved. 

After dinner, we had an oneg (joy [of]) Shabbat.  In NOAM, this means games!  It was a lot of fun.  As Nativ, we planned on leading a tisch, but this was not the right mood for sitting and singing.

Before going to sleep we hung out together.  I ended spending most of this time talking about Jewish beliefs and Jewish life in my room with Daniela.  I’m amazed at how easy it was to have a conversation about my personal religious beliefs to someone I had known for only a few hours.  Finally, we went to sleep around 2.

I woke up early in the morning and went for a “walk.”  There was nowhere to walk, so I actually spent most of this time just looking out at the water and at the Jordanian mountains on the other side.  Absolutely serene.

Services were not until 10, which is almost a full Shabbat morning service time after when we usually start.  Deena led psukei dzimra (beginning section of morning services).  Then I did something I haven’t done in months…years?...and led shacharit.  I had to use my non-favorite tunes because those are the ones I know best, but I think it went well.  Jacob (Karmiel madrich) led musaf (additional service at the end of Shabbat and holiday morning services).  After lunch and some free time, Maddy led mincha.

We had programming for most of the afternoon.  For the first program, we split into groups of 4 and were given many (maybe 25?) strips of paper with potential ideals/pillars of Jewish youth movements.  In our small groups we had to prioritize 5 ideals for what we think would create the greatest youth movement.  I was grouped with one other Nativer (Elie), an Israeli who works for NOAM, and an Argentinean.  This program was extremely interesting: by arguing over values, we learned the differences between NOAM and youth movements in the US.  My group eventually decided on (top 5 in no particular order) Masorti Judaism (partly because it incorporates halacha [law]), Zionism (something I personally probably would not have chosen, but much easier to accept than another option, “encouraging aliyah”), tikkun olam (repairing the world, refers to community service, social action, etc.), hadracha (guiding, but only for young ages; for high school age we prefer peer leadership), and one other that I cannot remember at the time.  The only pillar that was chosen by each group was tikkun olam. 

In the next program, we looked at pictures of Jewish practices and had to decide whether we thought each was acceptable by Masorti and whether we personally accepted them.  There was a wide range on the conservative-liberal scale: one picture was of a synagogue with a gallery for women, another of a woman reading Torah, another of homosexual men receiving smicha (rabbinical ordination).  It turns out that all of the pictures were from Masorti/Conservative communities, and all are accepted.  It is not that the movement is wishy-washy, but two contradicting practices may both be acceptable if there is a strong argument for a halachic basis.

For the final program, 2 people were given scenarios of modern “hot topics” and had to debate different sides of issues such as women wearing tallitot, using a phone on Shabbat, and intermarriage.  Whoever was not debating could tag in to switch places with a debater.  Probably not surprising, but I did a fair amount of debating.  At the end, one of the coordinators asked if there were other hot topics we’d have liked to discuss.  Responses included ‘the gay issues,’ Kohen-Levi-Yisraeli hierarchy, and religion if only one’s father is Jewish. 

We ate dinner, packed, and met again for maariv and havdallah.  Then, it was time to board the buses (only now, because of locations, we were to be separated by programs.  The Shabbaton was too short, and the final month of Nativ is not enough time to see the NOAM people much more.  How did we become friends so quickly?  Most Nativers honestly felt close with at least a couple NOAM people after just a day.  I didn’t feel close to any Nativers on the 2^nd day of Nativ!  Is it because of the South American culture?  (When we were saying goodbye, I learned they are all great huggers.)  Is it because we’re mamash the same people?  I guess it doesn’t matter why.  We plan on meeting again one night during Nativ’s last week in Jerusalem, and I hope to keep in touch with a few people.  It was an incredible weekend.

Trivia: The most commonly played songs by Nativers for the past couple weeks are “Call Me Maybe” and “Somebody that I Used to Know.”

Roller Coaster Week

There are different kinds of days.  There are happy days, sad days, solemn days, weird days, and typical days.  Sometimes a day is as it is because of what happens, and sometimes it’s a holiday and determined to be a certain way by history.  The time between the last two Thursdays has been a roller coaster in moods of days.  With Yom HaShoah (Holocaust Remembrance Day), Shabbat, all of Nativ joining together for a week, joining together to learn about Israel Activism, Yom HaZikaron (day in honor of those who have died in battle and terrorist attacks), and Yom Ha’Atmaut (Israeli Independence Day), this has been a unique week.

Yom HaShoah

On the night of Yom HaShoah we had Nativ programming.  We read personal stories of youth survivors of the Holocaust and then had a presentation and discussion about Holocaust denial.  We all wore white for the night and the day. 

In the morning while we were working, a siren went off throughout the whole country.  I’m glad that I wasn’t with the school at their ceremony where everyone was thinking about the Holocaust already or in a busy intersection to see everyone stop and stand next to their cars.  I was working.  I was walking with Jake to the rabbit cage.  I was talking with Harari on the other side of the fence about the loose parakeet.  And the siren went off and we all stopped walking and talking.  Harari placed the rope he was holding on the ground.  Looking around I saw that some people were looking straight forward, others looking down.  Everyone took this minute to think, to remember.  It was a powerful moment.

That night we went to Kibbutz Lochamei HaGetaot which was founded by Holocaust survivors.  There was a ceremony specifically for youths.  I think there were about 2000 people there.  We sat together with the Karmiel track (the Yerucham track was at a different ceremony in the south), and it was strange to be happy to see our friends we haven’t seen in a few weeks on one of the saddest days of the year.  The ceremony included some songs, a dance representing going to gas chambers, a performance (for lack of a better term) by Habonim Dror (socialist youth group, very influential in the creation of the state of Israel), and singing Hatikva (Israel’s national anthem).  It was very interesting, but I could not understand everything because it was all in Hebrew.  Sadly, I felt I could not fully appreciate this ceremony, or anything else we had done for Yom HaShoah, after being in Poland.  Nothing can compare to that experience, and I don’t have the emotional strength to try to feel more right now.

Then Friday was a normal day.  I stayed at the kfar for Shabbat, so it was relaxing to not need to leave early to go somewhere else.  I’m impressed with myself for almost napping and watching a movie (honestly- I usually can’t find the time to relax like this).

We had nice Nativ services that night, and then joined the whole kfar community for dinner.  It was a closed Shabbat for the students who board here, so everyone ate together in the cheder ochel for dinner, lunch, and seudah shlishit.  Shabbat afternoon, we went for a walk to a spring with some students and a group of high school volunteers from a school in Maryland who are here for 3 weeks.  The spring was actually a very polluted stream, but it was a pretty walk.  I’m glad I finally know about this trail to go running there.  It was great to spend a Shabbat at the kfar again.

Israel Activism Seminar

Sunday morning, a bus came to take us to Maale HaChamisha (the hotel where we spent Purim) for our Israel Activism Seminar.  I was excited to see my Karmiel and Yerucham friends, but I was not particular excited to leave my petting zoo and sit in lectures about politics (far from my favorite subject).  (I was especially excited to room with my friends Dana and Becca, and we quickly learned that there is no possible better rooming situation than the 3 of us together.)  It turned out, though, that the whole seminar was fantastic.

Still, this was a confusing, complex week.  Some things that people think and say about Israel simply disgust me.  How can people say it is an apartheid state when the Arab minority has full political rights and Arabs serve in the Knesset (Parliament) and courts?  Why does Israel get accused of so much belligerence because their death toll is lower than the Palestinians when Israel protects its civilians with things like the Iron Dome and puts soldiers in tanks while Palestinians protect their offenders (I refer to those against Israel) with civilians and schools full of children?  Then there are issues like violence at check points (between West Bank and Gaza and Israel proper and other high risk places), which I cannot justify at all, but I understand how soldiers use violence because it is easy to maintain control, and the check points have proven extremely effective in preventing terrorist attacks.

The first afternoon Neil Lazarus, head of Awesome Seminars who worked with Yossi to create our week, spoke to us, and just from the way he spoke I knew this would be a good week.  We looked at everything rationally (not emotionally), and I’ll tell you about the programs I found most meaningful and interesting.  Among what we learned in this first presentation:

• “If you can’t convince them, confuse them.”
• “Whoever says they want peace the most wins.”
• “Always end a speech/argument with some combination of the words ‘hope,’ ‘children,’ ‘peace,’ and ‘future.’ 
• Example: ‘I hope that in the future there will be peace for our children.’”

first day, with Neil and 88 other Nativers

Our following session was “Dealing with H.O.R.S.E.”  There are simple arguments: [Human rights] it sucks that some people experience human rights violations through things like check points, but more people are protected than harmed.  [Occupation] No one can “occupy” a land that is in dispute/not a sovereign nation, as the West Bank is.  [Racism] Declaring Israel is an apartheid state is delegitimizing the past politically supported racism of South Africa.  [Settlements] Jews and Arabs both get permits to build in the disputed areas. [Extreme force] Israel does all it can to protect its citizens, and it faces a lot of attacks.

The next day we had some non-spectacular programming on public speaking and debating, but I think part of its spectacularlessness was due to the leader for my third of Nativ (we were split up into a smaller groups for most sessions) and large content overlap with the Intrapreneurship track of BFL.  Luckily, we had a much more interesting program that evening with the Parents Circle, a group for both Arabs and Jews who lost a family member in the conflicts here to have dialogue about the issues and what they have experienced.  One Arab and one Jew spoke to us about their experiences.  It was interesting to see what they had gone through, and there is no way I can put myself in either of their positions.  I found the Arab woman that spoke to us particularly interesting: she was Christian from Barbados, married a Muslim man, and upon living with him and their children in the West Bank felt more at home there than anywhere else she had lived before.  Her husband was killed in an act of unnecessary and illegal violence by an Israeli, and since then she has felt closer to her Arab community and has started doing things to show that she is part of this community, such as wear a hijab.

Tuesday, we heard from a representative of Stand With Us, which has since been redeemed in my mind (before, I disliked the organization for calling anti-Zionism anti-Semitism, but this presentation did not make such a claim).  I learned a lot from this session.  I learned that the US supports foreign armies, sending the most support to Israel’s army, followed by Egypt’s, followed by Lebanon’s.  I also learned that Dr. Khalil Shikaki performed a study on Palestinian society and found that 70% of Palestinians want to be under the government of Israel.  This was just very interesting.

I think I learned a lot from these 3 days, but still I question statistics and I question intentions and I am not completely convinced of much (note: I do strongly believe the points I made in the  2^nd paragraph of this section).  Unlike many of my friends, I’m not excited to defend Israel at college; as much as I love debating, I get so frustrated by this topic that I don’t like to argue it.  However, I realized this week that I do feel obligated to defend Israel.  I know I won’t change the opinions of the anti-Israel activists, but maybe I can affect those who don’t know what to think.

Yom HaZikaron and Yom Ha’Atzmaut

Tuesday night, once we finished learning about how to advocate for Israel, we went to a Masa ceremony for Yom HaZikaron.  For this day, too, everyone wears white.  This ceremony was in English, but it was not the best kind of ceremony for me.  We heard stories about people making aliyah, joining the army, and dying in service.  A family member spoke to us for some of the stories.  On this day, there is a siren at night and in the morning.  We were at the ceremony for the first siren, and though we were all together and certainly thinking about its significance, I did not find it particularly meaningful.

In the morning, we went to Har Hertzl, a cemetery for victims of terrorist attacks and soldiers.  While walking up from the bus to the cemetery, the siren went off and everything stopped.  It’s amazing how everyone stops at the same moment, in the same way, but when everyone in the area is walking to the same place, we all know the same thought was in each of our heads anyway.  We had some time at the cemetery.  Netanyahu was speaking, but I just heard him in the background as I was walking around with Becca.  One sentence stuck out to me, though: “Kulanu mishpacha gdola echad,” “We are all one big family.”  But, again, I didn’t feel that way.  I felt out of place at Har Hertzl.  All Israelis know someone who has died in a war or in a terrorist attack, but I do not.  I understand the significance of the day, but I cannot relate.

The night when Yom HaZikaron (the solemnity most comparable to that of Yom Kippur) ends, one of the happiest days- Yom Ha’Atzmaut- begins.  People wear white and blue at night and during the day.  Services have some pieces like the final Yom Kippur service, plus some synagogues do Hallel (psalm readings for holidays).  I went to Roz’s Minyan that night, which was incredible.  We started with singing a psalm with a Shabbat tune, then did normal maariv (skipping things my siddur had for Chag Atzmaut).  There is always plenty of time for one to read everything at Roz’s minyan (in many services, everything silent is rushed), but I read the first 2 blessings of the service quickly, before the shaliach tzibur (leader) read the final line of the first blessing out loud (as is the custom).  Having read the following blessing, I did not read it again, but just listened to the room.  The sound of everyone singing to themselves was beautiful, incredible.  I could not have been happier in another service.  Near the end of the service, we sang Hatikva.  Then we sang one more psalm, and danced and jumped and clapped until it was time to leave.

From around 9 pm to dawn, the city of Jerusalem was one huge party.  It reminded me of Purim with candy and toy booths in the crowded areas.  Bars and restaurants were packed.  There were outdoor concerts every few feet (at least it seems that way).  I heard that around 2 am the shuk party (party at the outdoor market) finally began, and this was crazy.  There were fireworks (Israel doesn’t seem to understand that the most impressive part of the show is the end, not 8 individual fireworks spread out over a minute after the most impressive explosions) over Gan Ha’Atzmaut (Independence Park).  I hung out with Nativ friends almost everywhere within a 10 minute walk of Beit Nativ, where most of us were staying.  It was a fun night.

Around 1:45, I returned to Beit Nativ.  Some people paid for rooms for the night, but most of us took advantage of the 3 large rooms (not bedrooms) rented by Nativ to hold our bags, and slept on the floor.  At this time, around 20 of the 60 or so people sleeping at Beit Nativ were there.  I wasn’t too tired, so I stayed up later with my friends.  Finally, around 3 am I settled onto the floor of the room in -2.5 (unlike the 2 rooms in -3, it has a carpet!), and with my sweatshirt as a pillow, went to sleep. 

I did not sleep well on the floor of a cold room without a blanket, but the day of Yom Ha’Atzmaut was a lot of fun despite my fatigue.  We had an optional barbeque, but about 80 of the 89 Nativers were there.  It was a fantastic day to sit in the grass of Gan Ha’Atzmaut, eat a lot of food, and talk with friends.  Everyone wore blue and white in honor of Israel’s birthday, and I doubt the day could have been more fun.

the picnic, me with Lucy, Maya, Julia, Deena, and Maddy

Many people have said that this was the best week of Nativ.

Trivia: Upon returning to the kfar Thursday night, I found that the eggs under one of our petting zoo hens hatched!